Elephant Love Melody
by Hello Kitty Speedboat
Summary: A parody of different songs from the Movie: Come What May, Elephant Love Medley, COUP D'ETAT, etc. The thoughts that go through Christian and Satine's minds during them and insane actions coming from them. Pleas R
1. Elephant Love Medley Melody

Satine and Christian's thoughts during Elephant Love Melody

Christian: Love is a many splendid thing.

Love lifts us up where we belong.

All you need is love

__

I want you to love me, love is the most important thing you need.

Satine: Please, don't start that again.

__

Leave me alone, loser. I don't want to hear it.

Christian: All you need is Love

__

Love is important

Satine: A girl has got to eat.

There are more important things out there

Christian: All you need is love.

__

Come on, love is VERY important

Satine: She'll end up on the street!

__

Come on, I have got my own problems. I don't need you.

Christian: All you need is Love.

Please, get it through your thick skull!

Satine: Love is just a game!

__

No one is really capable of ever feeling that way!

Christian: I was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me!

__

That's what men are for, loving!

Satine: The only way of loving me baby is to pay a lovely fee.

__

Ha, got him there!

Christian: Just one night, give me just one night.

I just need one night to charm you, that's all a man needs, because men are superior. 

Satine: There's no way, cause you can't pay.

__

NOW, I got him!

Christian: In the name of Love, one night in the name of love!

__

Give me the night to make love to you and then I'll leave!

Satine: You crazy fool, I won't give into you.

__

There is nothing you can do to make me love you.

Christian: Don't, leave me this way, I can't survive without your sweet love. oh baby, don't leave me this way.

__

If you leave me now don't expect me to take you in if you ever want me again. You're all that I need, you're a beauty!

Satine: You think that people would have had enough with silly love songs.

Come on Satine, don't fall for him now! Say that Love songs are stupid!

Christian: I look around me and I see, it isn't so, oh no.

__

I almost have her, she is definitely interested from the bait!

Satine: Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs

__

Keep fighting him away Satine! What's the deal with love songs anyway?

Christian: Well what's wrong with that? I'd like to know, cause here I go again!

__

(When they are just about to kiss)

Christian: Yea, I got her!

Satine: (when she pulls away from him) Don't…give…up…Satine!

Christian: Love lifts us up where we belong! Were eagles fly, on a mountain high!

__

(He is on top of the elephant's sun window) Now I'll show her my skills and she'll be impressed and swoon all over me!

Satine: Love makes us act like we are fools, throw our lives away for one happy day!

__

(laughing) What does he think he is doing? Is he trying to impress me? Well it just might be working

Christian: We can be heroes, just for one day!

__

Yea, I can be your hero baby!

Satine: You, you will be mean

__

Now I'm just making excuses, but I can't give into him!

Christian: No I won't!

__

Who does she think I am, her mother?

Satine: And I, I'll drink all the time.

__

Me drink? Nah!

Christian: We should be lovers!

__

Can't you see I want you baby?

Satine: We can't do that!

__

We can't but I want you!

Christian: We should be lovers and that's a fact.

__

Come on, come on! Give in Satine, can't you see that I want you so badly?

Satine: Though nothing will keep us together!

__

Oh I give up but I am warning you now that it won't work out in the end!

Christian: We could steal time. (Both: just for one day!)

__

Christian: We will work around that Satine, nothing can change that even if it only lasts one day!

Both: We can be hero's forever and ever!

Satine: I am glad I came to him! He truly loves me!

Christian: I wonder what she is like in bed!

Both: We can be hero's forever and ever! We can be hero's…

Satine: I can now finally be happy! Why didn't I give in before?

Christian: She is so hot!

Christian: Just because I (e) I will always love you!

And that's the truth Satine!

Satine: I (e) I will always love…

I will love you no matter what Christian!

Christian: You…

__

Ha, I wheeled her in like a fish! I am irresistible to any women!

Satine: How wonderful life is now you're in the (Both) world.

__

Satine: Now I am the irresistible one, I stole his line!

Christian: You know I have always wondered, what DO they put on the licenses under hair color if you're bald?

Satine: You're going to be bad for business, I can tell.

Boy, this will get me into a lot of trouble but I can't turn back now.

***They Kiss***

Christian: Why can't chickens fly?


	2. Come What May Suttle Version

Disclaimer: I don't own Moulin Rouge or Come what may (though I wish I did). 

A/N: This is dedicated to those who despised my Elephant Love Medley because this is a more serious one because I wanted to make up for the one I wrote about Elephant Love Medley. This is my valentines gift to you guys and I'm sure the bohemians will be happy with this one! Sorry I offended some of you guys but I just wanted to make an attempt at being funny and to see a different side of Christian. I REALLY hope you guys enjoy this!

****

Come What May: 

Christian and Satine's thoughts during Come what May

****

Christian: Never Knew I could feel like this

__

I never thought I could feel this way about anyone

****

Christian: It's like I've never seen the sky before

__

This love we have has brought a new life upon me

****

Christian: Want to vanish inside your kiss

__

Let's forget the Duke and just love each other, put the problems behind us

****

Christian: Everyday I'm loving you more and more

__

It's like I can't live without you

****

Christian: Listen to my heart

__

Listen to these words that I am saying, they are for you Satine. Telling you that I love you.

Christian: Can you hear it sing

__

Can't you tell?

****

Christian: Telling me to give you everything

__

And I will.

****

Christian: Seasons may change, Winter to Spring

__

No matter what happens, Satine, I will be there for you.

****

Christian: But I love you

__

I Do, oh, I do love you!

Christian: Until the end of time

__

And longer

****

Christian: Come what May

__

Whatever happens

Christian: Come what May

We can work things out

**__**

Satine: He is right, and, who cares about the Duke? I love Christian not him.

****

Christian: I will love you until my dying day!

__

And Longer

**__**

Satine: As I, Christian, As I.

****

Satine: Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

__

It changed when you came in my life!

****

Satine: Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace

__

The world seems brighter now you're with me, Christian.

****

Both: Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste

**__**

Satine: When I am with you, I am no longer a courtesan.

****

Christian: When I am with you, I am no longer penniless

****

Satine: It all revolves around you

__

My whole world revolves around you, everything.

****

Both: And there is no mountain to high, no river to wide

**__**

Christian: Nothing can stand between us.

****

Satine: The duke can no longer harm us.

****

Both: Sing out this song 

**__**

Both: No matter where we are we will know. No matter what's happening.

****

Both: And I'll be there by your side

** __**

Both: I'll come for you.

****

Both: Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide 

**__**

Both: Anything can Happen and I'll be there for you

****

Christian: but I love you 

Satine: I love you

****

Christian: Until the end 

**__**

Christian: I will love you forever and a day Satine

****

Satine: Until the end

** __**

Satine: I can't and won't ever stop loving you

Both: Of Time

Both: Come what may

**__**

Satine: I love you Christian and I will be there for you no matter what!

****

Both: Come what may

**__**

Christian: I love you Satine and always will

****

Both: I will love you until my dying day

**__**

Both: AND LONGER

****

Both: Oh, come what may

****

Both: Come what may

****

Both: I will love you

**__**

Both: I love you, so much.

****

Satine: I will love you

__

It's true Christian, I will.

****

Satine: Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

__

It's amazing that we have this love for each other and how you brighten my world.

****

Both: Come what may

**__**

Both: Whatever may come

**__**

Both: Come what May

****

Both: Whatever may come

Both: I will love you until my dying day!

**__**

Christian: I want to hold you in my arms forever.

**__**

Satine: No matter what happens, I will love you. Come what may, come what may…….


	3. Come What May Hilarious version

****

Come What May

Disclaimer: I do not own Moulin rouge or any of it's songs.

A/N: Final warning: These do not have anything to do with truth, beauty, freedom, and love!! They are strictly for fun!! So, if you take Christian and Satine's love seriously than turn back now and maybe read my other stories or songs that DO abide by truth, beauty, freedom, and love!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

** **

Come What May: 

Christian and Satine's thoughts during Come what May

****

Christian: Never Knew I could feel like this

_ ****_

Satine: I know what you mean, I have bad gas too! It must have been those nachos!

Christian: It's like I've never seen the sky before

**__**

Satine: Gee, I didn't know he had it THAT bad!

****

Christian: Want to vanish inside your kiss

__

Because I'm……Harry Houdini!

****

Christian: Everyday I'm loving you more and more

**__**

Satine: Are you for Real? He best back up!!

****

Christian: Listen to my heart

**__**

Satine: So you actually want me to go up to your chest and listen?

****

Christian: Can you hear it sing

**__**

Satine: Hold your horses! I'm coming

****

Christian: Telling me to give you everything

Satine: _No Christian, don't share your underwear with the cameras around! _(giggles)

****

Christian: Seasons may change, Winter to Spring

**__**

Satine: Don't they always change?

****

Christian: But I love you

** __**

Satine: I wonder if I should watch football or hockey tonight?

****

Christian: Until the end of time

__

That's a long time

****

Christian: Come what May

__

Even if the Bears beat the Eagles

****

Christian: Come what May

__

Whether the Braves beat the Phillies

****

Christian: I will love you until my dying day!

__

Unless, of course, I meet Pamela Anderson!

****

Satine: Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

__

Look at his sweet eyes

-Duke: Oh, look my dear! A little frog! (the duke goes after it)

Frog: Oh god! Here we-ribbit- go again!-ribbit- Another-ribbit- set of god damn-ribbit- singers! Haven't-ribbit-heard them-ribbit-since-ribbit- Annie! (frogs jumps away)

****

Satine: Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace

**__**

Christian: Oh that frog was so CUTE!!

****

Both: Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste

****

Satine: Oh no! I think I am about to rip one….uh…anyway

****

Satine: It all revolves around you

** __**

Christian: Huh, it better revolve around me!

****

Both: And there is no mountain to high, no river to wide

** __**

Christian: Mountain…..hmmm….you know…I wonder what it would be like if you swallowed a rock…..

****

Both: Sing out this song 

(At part when the duke comes in to see Christian and Satine-at it-)

**__**

Christian: Almost there…..

****

Satine: Oh Shit! The duke!

****

Both: And I'll be there by your side

(Out of the bedroom scene) 

Both: Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide 

**__**

Christian: Sure, if stars collided, sorry babe, but you know I'd be out on a plane to Timbuktu!

****

Christian: but I love you 

__

What's that smell?

Satine: I love you

CRAP!

****

Christian: Until the end 

__

She seems to be a little behind

****

Satine: Until the end

__

Catch up, Satine, catch up!

Both: Of Time

**__**

Both: There we go

Both: Come what may

** __**

Both: Whether Tom gets Jerry

****

Both: Come what may

**__**

Both: Whether Wyllie coyote gets road runner

****

Both: I will love you until my dying day

** __**

Christian: maybe I should ask her to go get some cake with me? I heard the chocolate cake was really good!

****

Both: Oh, come what may

**__**

Both: Whether Harry beats Voldemort

****

Both: Come what may

**__**

Both: Whether David beats goliath!

****

Both: I will love you

**__**

Satine: Oh, no, I think I feel another one!

****

Satine: I will love you

__

You know, Satine, he is really hot tonight!

****

Satine: Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

__

Ooooo, nice butt, has he.

****

Both: Come what may

** __**

Both: Whether Sylvester gets Tweety

****

Both: Come what May

**__**

Both: Whether O.J. is really innocent

****

Both: I will love you until my dying day!

****

Christian: (starting to think hard) _Does Britney Spears really have implants?_

---Suddenly, without warning, the Duke enters the scene and steps in front of Christian and Satine, spreading his arms out and starts to sing in a shrilling voice----

****

Duke: How will I love with out you!!! I….Want….To…..Know!! (he starts to prance about the room)

** __**

Satine: What the Fuck! (giving the Duke a weird glance)

****

Duke: What? (stopping his prancing and giving Satine a look like he hadn't done a thing)

****

Satine: This is our show duke! (pushes him out of the scene and turns to Christian)

****

Christian: (skipping and singing) A Tisket, a Tasket, a green and yellow basket! I wrote a letter to my mom and on the way I dropped it!!

****

Satine: I give up! 


	4. COUP D'ETAT

Disclaimer: Hey, I don't own 'em, I just make fun of 'em! LOL, although, I do love the movie very very much, don't get me wrong!! LOL

A/N: WARNING: This parody does go against the ideals of Truth, Beauty, Freedom, and Love, so don't get prissy with me in the end!!

Hey, I'm back!! I couldn't think of what to write, but now I think I have it and if I do, this will be the funniest yet, cause Come what May was just too cheesy. It was a cheesy hamburger with extra cheese put right on top and I don't even like cheese! It makes me sick, not that I am lactose and tolerant, oh no, just don't like it. I think it smells funny, like someone's old sneaker. Yup, someone's old stinky gym sneaker. Ok, so here it is, my anti-cheese, nothing on it, sandwich-er-parody…………LOL, anyway……..

****

Coup D'ETAT

[_It all starts normally_**]**

Satine: Never knew I could feel like this

Like I've never seen the sky before

****

[_Whispers from audience_**]**

****

Audience: Never seen the sky before, seriously??

**__**

Satine: Shit, they hate me! I can't go on!

****

Satine: Want to vanish inside your kiss  
Every day I'm loving you more and more

Listen to my heart   
Can you hear it sing  


****

Obnoxious audience member trying to sound triumphant: I WILL EAT YOUR HEART! **[**_Beats on chest like wild gorilla_**]**

[_Satine tries to ignore him, but she can't as he whips out his long knife hands. The member is actually Freddy Krueger_**]**

Freddy: WHERE IS NANCY!?! **[**_He walks towards the stage, flashing his fingers_**]**

[_Satine ignores him and continues, eventually, clawing at the floor, screaming "there is hell to pay!" the body guards pull him out_**]**

****

Satine: Come back to me  
And forgive everything!  


****

[ _Please, Christian!_**]**

(she gasps)

****

[_Another audience member chuckles_**]**  


****

Audience Member: AHHHHHHH, The apple I gave thee

Is eating the soul of she

So her soul will be mine

To eat until the end of time

It takes of pizza and maggot cheese-------

****

[_yet another audience member interrupts_**]**

Young fourteen year old girl: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CHEESE!!!!!!!

****

[ _She runs towards the camera, hands around her opened jaw, screaming_**]**

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

****

Satine: **( **_She continues to sing, ignoring the insane girl, who was now running around the room screaming about the apocalypse and the old hag trying to cast a wicked spell on her_**) ** Seasons may change, winter to spring  
(whispers) But I love you  
(sings) til the end of time 

Christian: Come what may  
Come what may  
Come what may  
Come what may  
I will love you 

**__**

Satine: It's about Damn Time!

****

[_Thinking that everything is alright, Satine calms down and smiles at Christian_**. **_She opens her mouth to sing as a humongous glob of saliva intrudes her mouth. She is on the floor, coughing_**]**

****

Christian: OH! I'm so sorry Nic-er-Satine! I just couldn't help it!

Baz, the furious director: OK!! Can we just finish the song!

Satine: I will love you 

****

Satine: _What a glabrous pig!_

Christian: Until my dying day  


****

Satine: Dying day 

Both: Come what may 

Baz, interrupting them again: I'm sorry guys, I'm just not really believing that your in love!

****

Christian: Come what may 

** __**

Christian: Well, why don't you tape little plastic hearts to my eyes and make me think dirty thoughts!

Satine: Come what may 

**__**

Satine: Oh, my god, I think I broke a nail! Like totally for sure, I think I need a manicure!

****

Both: I will love you until my dying... 

[_Another audience member stands up_**]**

Man: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Satine & Christian: SHUT UP!

****

[_The man picks up a chair and clambers on stage_**]**

Man: Take this BITCH!

****

[_The man beats Satine over the head with a chair. This is where she dies._**]**

Christian: You mother fucker! YOU KILLED NIC-ER-SATINE!!! NIC-ER-SATINE WAS MY ONLY LOVE**!**

[ _Christian snatches the chair and smacks the guy out the window where he hit's the Eiffel tower_**]**

Christian: Who are we going to get to play Satine now?

****

[_Baz thinks for a second and suddenly a light bulb appears fluorescent above his head. He reaches into the audience and grabs a girl's hand. It's Samara From THE RING_**]**

Samara: Seven days…..

Christian: Can we just get this over with?

[_Christian cowers as Samara approaches her with her long black hair in front of her face_**]**

Toulouse: (spoken) Christian! He's got a gun! They're trying to kill you! 

Zidler: (spoken) Shut up! 

Toulouse: (spoken) Look, he's got a gun! 

Doctor: Vive la vie la bohemia!  
(utter chaos on stage - Argentinean wakes up and bursts through the doors) 

Argentinean: No problem! Go back to work!

****

[_But, there is a problem, he faints and barney now comes to take his place_**]**

Barney: I love you! You love me! We're---

****

Toulouse: Going to kill Barney!

[_Barney runs off stage with the midget chasing him, waving his cain. They pass by the frantic fourteen year old and the old hag, who has paused Barney using a charm. Toulouse whacks Barney with the cain_**]**

****

Cast: No matter what you say, the show is ending our way. You've got to stand your ground! For Freedom, Beauty, Truth and Love! Children of the Revolution... 

Satine (Really Samara): I'll fly away 

Christian: My gift is my song... 

Cast: No, you won't fool the Children of the Revolution (repeated) 

Satine (Samara): I'll fly away

****

[_Once again, someone interrupts the show. It's Michael Jackson. The whole rooms screams._**]**

****

Christian: Who the Fuck are you? Some kind of prostitute?

****

Michael: No, but I'd like to be!

****

[_The whole room gasps as Satine rises from the dead and starts to dance the Thriller along with Michael_**]**

Christian: Satine! You're alive!

****

Satine: Christian!

****

Christian: My gift is my song! 

Cast: Come what may 

****

Christian and Satine (Satine pushes Samara off the stage, where she also hit's the Eiffel Tower): I will love you! 

Cast: Come what may 

Christian and Satine: Yes, I will love you! 

Cast: Come what may 

Christian and Satine: I will love you until my dying 

(the Duke picks up the gun which has somehow ended up in the aisle of the theatre. He points his gun at the lovers**)**  


****

Duke: (spoken) My way! My way! **[**_The Old Hag raises her wand "Wingardiem Leviosa" and raises the gun away, where is too, hit's the Eiffel Tower. The hag smiles at the lovers and vanishes_**]**

Christian and Satine: day!

****

[_Suddenly, Mome Fromage bursts in front on Satine and Christian for a final dancing sequence NOT included in the movie _**]**

Satine: Oh, My GOD! Christian, Look at her butt! It is so big. She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends. Who understands those rap guys anyway? They only talk to her cause she looks like a total prostitute, ok? I mean her butt, it's just so big! I can't believe it's so round. It's just out there I mean, it's gross. Look, she's just so black 

****

[Christian appears next to Mome who was showing off her beautiful butt**]  
**

Christian: I like big butts and I can not lie

You other brothers can't deny 

That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste 

And a round thing in your face 

You get sprung 

Wanna pull up front 

Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed 

Deep in the jeans she's wearing 

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring 

Oh, baby I wanna get with ya 

And take your picture 

My homeboys tried to warn me 

But with that butt you got 

Me so horny 

Ooh, rub all of that smooth skin 

You say you wanna get in my Benz 

Well use me, use me 

cuz you ain't that average groupy………

And everyone lived happily ever after……….well, sort of!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Will that be all? Just a big, no cheese, extra pickles, hamburger? 

LOL

Another Disclaimer: I don't own Sir-Mix-A lot's song 'Back Got Back', Samara, or anything else that you recognize.

What'd you think??

Please review!

Hey, and if you want to read an excellent story that DOES abide by Truth, Beauty, Freedom, and Love, read **Tani's**

****

Why Does my hearts Cry: Satine is still alive and has a child. But, Christian thought she was dead and was forced to get engaged. How can Satine win him back? By their baby?

Read it!!! 

(Did I screw that up Tani??)


End file.
